Spit Forwards: Why Guys Are Happier

Posted October 20, 2005 - PermaLink
The same hairstyle works year after year
Doing it helps a headache
Waiting to (re)marry reduces depression
A filthy restroom is no reason not to use it
Same job, more money
Phone conversations under one minute
Haircuts under 10 minutes
Whether on our face or clothing, wrinkles don't ruin our day
We don't have to check our luggage for a 1 week trip
Clippers, knives or scissors will all do our nails
A 3-pack of underwear for under $10
Soap + water + towel = "I'm ready"
We don't suspend sex for a week if you want us to lose a few
One mood - all month
Men don't stare at our chest when we talk
Quickies feel just as good
Dogs don't smell our crotches
We can wear the same suit to different weddings
What is a bad hair day?
The same wallet works for every outfit
If we aren't invited, we can still be friends
One compliment lasts for weeks
If she doesn't like what we are wearing, our day is not ruined
If she thinks George Clooney or Brad Pitt is hot, we aren't insulted,
don't feel inadequate, continue speaking, and still put out.
One last name - one lifetime